Hey guys...sorry i havent updated in such a while, but im updating now...although its mainly to unload my sadness. Im not doing very well at the moment, too many things have happened in the space of a year...its fucking ridiculous! it seems that everyone and everything i care deeply about is dying. My grandad who was pretty much my dad (coz my father is such a douchebag and left mum and i when i was two) died which still seems like not long ago, im still recovering from it coz i lost so much weight due to the temporary depressive state i was in, ive only just regained a stable weight now. And now...one of my best friends has a cancerous brain tumor and is in hospital, still unconcious and the doctors dont even know when or if she'll wake up. And...i know this may sound stupid to some people but my dog that i've had ever since i was 6 years old (im 17 now) has got larangel paralysis (a thing thats prone to labradore males when they grow old, its when they have trouble breathing because their larings are ceasing, they have to go on steroids to help their larings work so they can breathe, but eventually the larings will cease to function and my dog will stop breatheing and die).

And if you think thats bad...

One of my best friend's best friend died from leaukemia this morning and he was one of my close mates too

Im so sorry...but i have to unload somehow...other things are pretty crap right now too...the only awesome thing thats happened to me so far is that i have a lover and they're the best thing thats ever happened to me <3 <3 <3 i love them so much! hehehe bad thing is...i dont think they're parents like me very much...if anything at all XD but we dont find that much of an issue anymore, who gives a crap what they say, we love eachother too much ^w^ so they can deal with it! D8<

Anyway...thats my ramblings for naos...im still so depressed though...i cant believe this has happened to us...i hate it when adults say that young people cant die, THATS COMPLETE BULLSHIT! we have just as much chance as dying as anyone else!

I know i'll feel better this weekend, im seeing my lover at Manifest ^////^ i cant wait coz last year thats where we first met hehehe im going as an ouran highschool host club character and im gonna be all romantic and lovey dovey to them whether they like it or not >83 >83

anyways...Rest in peace Alex...we all miss you down here...if there is a heaven, god...please look after our Alex, he didnt deserve to die, but now at least he's in a place where he will be loved, where he will be free.

RIP, Alex Hinchcliff, 18th May 1993 - 20th August 2009 (aged 18)

we all love you...very much